Dacantus - Tapas Without the Faff

Dacantus, the self-defined wine bar, signature restaurant and gin lab on Grey street might sound like the wild and confused concept of a drunk Spaniard, but this very pretty place is rapidly becoming a favourite for many, including the Fat Spoon. Why? Because they give you delicious complimentary tapas with every drink you order. EVERY drink! Knock back enough of their excellent gin cocktails and you might even think you're actually in Spain. Dacantus really has done an outstanding job at setting the scene, a stunning venue with a very strong, extensive gin menu and staff that genuinely want you to stay eat all their chorizo-rich delights.

This attractive venue has much more to offer aside from the luxury gins and the persuasive world wine selection, the tapas freebies are there to draw you in for the kill - their excellent contemporary Spanish menu. And it is very much a case of  contemporariness over authenticity, but that's drastically better than the mindless faux-Spanish drivel that the generic tapas chains like to plate up. Although they do offer a well constructed (very) early-bird set menu for a mere £15 (which is possible the cheapest three courses on Grey street), the a la carte menu is where you need to focus your attention. They offer an excellent selection of sea food, pork and beef dishes, many as contemporary versions of Spanish classics, as well as a number of other surprising menu choices. Despite these random features, you can expect every dish to be executed well, in line with the high calibre of their drinks and décor.

Although much of the menu tends to step away from actual Spanish cuisine, they do still retain many Spanish quirks across most dishes and the dining-drinking hybridity of Dacantus certainly holds true to the Spanish way of entertaining. Despite this place being rather small, an expansion of the venue would almost certainly kill the intimacy of this outstanding gin and tapas bar. The commendable standard of service here also fortifies this welcoming atmosphere, making Dacantus the perfect place for casual drinks, pre-theatre diner or a lavish meal out. RIP La Tasca. 90%

Palace Garden - Dim Sum with the Royal Treatment

Sunday afternoon ‘high-tea’ has rapidly become a popular outing for the affluent and those wanting to take the mother somewhere fancy that involves feeding yourself too. But the Chinese have their own variant of ‘high-tea’ that’s somewhat more longstanding – dim sum Sundays. And Palace Garden is undoubtedly the absolute king of this delicious tradition. Although they have a highly comprehensive traditional Chinese menu and dim sum menu throughout the week, on Sundays they offer a highly convenient trolley service that really adds to the mysterious and magic feel of the dim sum dining experience.

With a pictoral menu, it’s very easy to select any number of interesting dumplings, steamy offal dishes and meaty wonders, made to order by the expert chefs at Palace Garden. Better still, speaking to the highly attentive and friendly serving staff will get you out of your comfort zone and trying some of their personal favourites, mooli cake and char sui baau are definitely two dishes worth a try. The numerous trollies, laden with bamboo hampers of beef, pork, fish and ‘other’ meat dim sum will provide you with a ‘YO Sushi!’-like eating format, where food is ever flowing, but without the associated costliness. Their thousand layer cake also abolishes the notion that dessert is absent in Chinese cuisine. And for those weak people lacking in culinary bravery, there’s plenty of ‘normal’ Chinese dishes available too.

Taking the outstanding quality of food, brilliantly personal service and stunning décor of the restaurant into account, it’s easy to recognise why this place is so a popular, there’s even an indoor pond with a bridge over it! Where, seemingly you can choose a sea beast to have cooked and served to you - ultra-freshness points there. The delivery of their dim sum makes Palace Garden simply the best outlet of this cuisine in Newcastle and if you have yet to pop your dim sum cherry, then it’s the ideal place to get broken into this wonderful and varied cuisine. 90%

Moulin Rouge Cafe - Hidden Persian Gem

Westgate road and the areas of Fenham that it lead up to are an absolute haven for numerous sub-standard 'cafés', 'restaurants' and 'takeaways' of sheer filth. Generic, baseless menu's that poorly represent Persian or Asian cuisine; childishly and arrogantly parading shawarmas, kebabs and mixed grills of questionable meat, married with lacklustre flavours in vulgar venues. Many of which even the drunk-beyond-belief low life of the region would turn their noses up at. But it isn't all doom and grease on Westgate Road, there are handful of hidden gems amongst the rotten eggs and Moulin Rouge is definitely the crown jewel amongst them.

Moulin Rouge is a god send for anyone looking for an affordable but delicious solution to authentic Persian cuisine. Fresh ingredients, a simple open kitchen, daily specials and a very welcoming atmosphere are all features that Moulin Rouge should certainly pride themselves on. Better still, their not afraid of going beyond the standard 'grilled meat with rice on a plate', (although they do that very well too), they also provide a selection of less common traditional dishes....a wet dream for any restaurant punter sick of the sight of generic dishes that riddle dining culture these days.

Although it appears to be a simple café, Moulin Rouge is a whole lot more than that, their more complex specials, cheerful BYOB policy and highly accommodative service means that you can celebrate almost any occasion in this perfectly relaxed rustic venue. And if that wasn't enough, the sheer cost effectiveness and clean-eat nature of their cuisine will have you coming back time and time again. Although if you are wanting your fill of grease, then they've also perfected the art of hangover breakfasts, offering bargainous fry-ups that might literally save your bacon. On top of all that, they even have plenty of choice for those odd vegetarian types! - literally every man, woman and child needs to give Moulin a try. 81%

Mantra Thai Dining - Prayer of Deliciousness

Unfortunately it seems that poor management and complacency saw the demise of what was the Waterside Palace Chinese restaurant, but thankfully this made way for a beautiful new restaurant to flourish - Mantra. And Mantra really is as ornate and as vibrant as the brilliant Thai cuisine that they serve. After entering this temple of golden serenity you will quickly be given a warm Thai welcome from a member of the very accommodative staff, before being taken to your table.

They're attention to detail and passion for style doesn't stop with the venue, their unique menu reflects their effort and showcases some great Thai dishes. What's unique about Mantra is that their menu doesn't just cover all of the more commercial Thai dishes that the typical punters are looking for. But they also offer authentic traditional Thai cuisine that those with fond back-packing memories of Thailand will be delighted to sample. And unlike some South East Asian restaurants in Newcastle, they haven't butchered the classics by adding European vegetables or alien flavours. They've held true to their roots and committed to intense flavour and of course chilli - plenty of heat, the way Thai cuisine should be. Those who want the real deal can ask the staff for recommendations to obtain that perfect dish. Their signature dishes are an absolute must and include the likes of rich duck curry, Somtum (green papaya salad), Seabass married with tamarind and lamb shank Massaman curry. 

The clean cut service, stunning décor and polished dishes tell you that this is a higher end restaurant, so don't expect any cheap smut here. This is no Bigg market diner. Quality does come at a cost, but at the same time, the pricing at Mantra certainly isn't over the top. Their wine list and drinks menu is also well constructed and offers the perfect accompaniments for the sheer volume of flavour delivered by the food. Finally, a Thai restaurant perfect for marking those special occasions. 86%

DOJO - A Huge Fistful of Flavour

The Japanese takeover continues, as DOJO is yet another very fresh, vibrant and delicious Japanese dining experience that has recently set up shop in Newcastle. And it really has taken it's appearance very seriously; the venue is as bright and bold on the inside as it is on the outside. As the name suggests, it's loosely themed on a Japanese martial arts gym, clearly fuelled on bucket loads of LSD. But DOJO isn't just a pretty face, they've clearly also been training hard in the kitchen.

The equally as vibrant menu that DOJO offers may well throw you off your feet. It delivers everyone's favourite Japanese dishes, but also some more obscure dishes for the adventurous, such as their Lobster hot pot, soft shell crab tempura and teriyaki rock oysters. Die hard fans may prefer the way other places do their Katsu curry, but if you're looking to take on a new and exciting bout of Japanese culture, then DOJO is where you'll find it. Like the recently reviewed Osaka, they have a very impressive selection of various sushi, nigiri and sashimi, all served at blackbelt level quality. But what sets DOJO apart, is their very well constructed Teishoku set dinners, which allow you to mix your favourite elements of Japanese food and comes at wallet friendly price...think Bento box but better.

The blazing cuisine and ass-kicking visuals at DOJO are perfectly complimented by ferociously brilliant serving staff. Their perfected knowledge of the cuisine means that they can also suggest a meal to your taste, if taking on the roasted eel set meal is too tough an opponent. DOJO really has the whole package, blending a lively atmosphere with solid flavours in a beautifully elegant way. All the spirit of a real-life Japanese dojo, none of the strange over-weight blackbelts, dirty old mats or cumulatively pungent sweaty smells. 90%

Sausage Emporium - Meaty Goodness All Round

Sausage fest. That's the best way to describe this cheeky new restaurant situated next to the Herb Garden. And it's not like the regular sausage fests that usually entail a diamond strip bar/club, ram packed with Geordie Shore wannabes in low cut t-shirts that would make a Sunderland stripper blush. No, this a wondrous festival of all things sausage based. And they're not at all afraid of getting their meat out.

The creators have produced an adaptable menu that extracts flavours from across the globe and smoothly incorporates them into one of the nations favourites, the humble sausage. It's always encouraging to see restaurants experimenting with produce and The Sausage Emporium has proven it is not at all shy. Moroccan spice, scallops, onion bhajis and Wylam Ale sausages are among some of their interesting concoctions that must be sampled. And for those with a bizarre fear of the sausage, there are plenty of other random, but delicious items on the menu, such as oysters, steak and crab cakes. 

Their flexible menu makes them perfect for lunch or dinner and although their restaurant is very simple, the staff are very attentive and clearly very passionate about their sausage. They even have a sausage dog (he's not on the menu porkers). The food is very fairly priced and they have a fantastic selection of ale. Not to mention a melt in the middle chocolate souffle that will blow your sausage. So what are you waiting for, get some of that sausage down you! 84%

Osaka - Big Flavours in Little Japan

In city where the market of Japanese cuisine is dominated by the likes of St. Sushi, Nudo and Yo! Sushi, it can be very difficult to make a name for yourself even in an under represented dining genre such as Japanese food. You can either take a back seat throne like Spital Tongues' Tenji. Or you can jump right in the thick of it, roaring like a fine dining beast....just like this Beauty. Although the initial vibe you'll get from the teeny tiny Osaka is one of peace and harmony, you will soon find that their menu packs more vibrancy than many of the generic bars and commercial restaurants of Grey Street put together.

Osaka isn't just another run of the mill sushi house, they boast a monstrous variety of these fresh seafood based delights, offering them in all shapes and all sizes. The sheer palate tingling level of freshness continues through to their excellent value bento boxes, their blazing teppanyaki dishes and elegant noodle dishes. But the must try prizes here are amongst the speciality maki and temaki dishes. Deep fried sushi sounds like hideous Scottish molestment of this delicate cuisine. But actually it's the closest you can get to deviant indulgence without taking your clothes off.

Everything fits together at Osaka, from the incorporation of some brilliant Japanese wines and sakes to the beautiful set-up and complementary attendees. Watch out you old timers of sushi production, because Osaka has arrived. It's fresh, it's new....and it's coming for you. And it's definitely contributing to the expension of this hugely vivid Asian cuisine in a sexy way. 85%

The Valley - All Aboard the Curry Train

The dining and bar trade is often riddled with lame gimmicks these days that only ever endeavour to offer you less of the good stuff for more of your cash. Naan bread's on sticks, cocktails in tea pots and meat starved burritos to mention but a few. However, there is a particularly unique restaurant experience that most people in Newcastle have heard of but oddly very few have had the bottle to go ahead and seize it. Of course that doesn't include the ever cuisine crazed Fat Spoon. That is the The Valley's "A Passage to India" service that takes you from Newcastle to their beautifully archaic converted-ticket office restaurant in Corbridge. Along with it's two sister restaurants (The Valley Junction 397 and The Valley Connection 301), the family has been awarded with multiple awards over the years including last year's Good Curry Guide 'Best in the North East'. It isn't quite the Fat Spoon's #1, but it's definitely up there, the curry train experience being of particular interest. At £32-37 per head some may argue it is a little pricey, but when you account for all that is included you will quickly realise it is a great deal. A very charming waiter will greet you under the big clock of central station before you board the regular train to Corbridge (ticket price included), he will then offer you a drinks of your choice (not so included, but sufficient banter will provide you plenty). The excellent service continues in the restaurant, and there's little chance of delay for food as you can select your dishes during the train ride. The food is both delicious and plentiful... even the most seasoned of curry munchers will struggle to finish everything they are offered; and no dish is off limits, so go wild. There's reasonable flexibility in terms of your return train, whether you chose to sample the brilliant local pubs, or contently sit in the restaurant as you struggle to breath having eaten a grotesque amount of great food. What's more, with this being an Indian restaurant of outstanding calibre you're not likely to be spending much of the next day clutching on to the Andrex. All the delights of Indian cuisine, without hideous Indian trains or gastrointestinal infections. Winner. 88% 

Tenji - Sushi for the Insatiable

Sushi is fantastic. It's fresh, flavoursome and is a very clean option of eating out. Independant restaurants like Nudo and St. Sushi do it very well, even the culinary conveyor belt franchise Yo! Sushi do a decent job. In fact, even bleeding Tescos have had a stab at knocking up these all-natural fishy delights. All have helped commercialise what was a less well known variant of oriental cuisine just 10 years ago. There's only one issue the Fat Spoon has with Sushi....how the hell is four measly bits of salmon, a slither of avocado and handful of rice supposed to fill you up?! Thankfully Tenji has the sashimi solution that everyone has been waiting for - a Japanese buffet restaurant. You'll half expect a katana-brandishing Uma Thurman to fly over the buffet counter and kick you in the face as you walk into this stunning Japanese styled restaurant given how much it looks like a movie set. The lowered seating area is particularly cool. A bountiful variety of sushi, sashimi, crab, mussels and scallops over ice is an ideal start to your dining experience here. But it doesn't stop there, they also offer a horde of authentic curries, steamed dishes, spicy noodles and soups. Look out for the slow cooked oxtail and belly pork stews, they've got enough flavour to make you have a minor accident in your pants. Excellent. There's even a chef on hand to casually grill the life out of a selection of delicious meats at the Teppanyaki station, including heart skewers on occasion! Got a sweet tooth? Not to worry, they even cover desserts, including the well known Japanese classic ... macarons! The evening buffet might be a little pricey for some, however they offer an eye-watering drinks deal for diners. All inclusive drinks for a mere £6, including Tsing Tao, house wine and warm Sake...making a trip to this house of rising stomachs well worth it. 86%

Peace and Loaf - Ultra-fine Dining Has a New Name

Despite the UK still very much recovering from a lengthy stint of recession, the social bubble that is Newcastle has seen an exciting number of new eateries pop up in late 2013/early 2014. The Fat Spoon being both greedy and insatiable, has of course already been on a feeding rampage to trial many of these new places. Peace and Loaf is exceptionally different to any of the other new restaurants and in fact different to anything else Newcastle already had to offer. Boasting a Masterchef: The Professionals finalist as the restaurant's head chef, as well as a very extravagant menu and a beautiful interior to match. Being a top-end dining experience, this new kid on the block certainly has enough bite to make some of Newcastle's other big guns quiver in fear and check their underpants with shaking hands. That's because the food at Peace and Loaf oozes arrogance, flare and sensation like none other. The menu has been put together with originality at the very forefront and thankfully has the skill to deliver these gastronomical bombs with devastating effect. The finest ingredients matched with explicit flavours, an outstanding level of service and well balanced atmosphere will make a venture to this beauty truly special. Although students will have to sell a kidney to afford stepping inside Peace and Loaf, the experience itself will make any special occasion a long lasting memory. What's also great is that the menu is constantly changing and developing, each dish as impressively artistic as the last. It isn't just about aesthetics here, the flavour heroes here will leave you feeling hot and bothered...and possibly a little wet....in a good way of course. 94%

The Old Siam - Old School is the Best School

Although there isn't a huge abundance of Thai restaurants in Newcastle, the competition is truly fierce. It is relatively easy to recreate classic Thai dishes such as Pad Thai, Thai green curry and Massaman curry; however to deliver accurately authentic Thai food it requires a certain level of finesse and actual Thais of course. The Old Siam is shy; hidden under a bridge on the Quayside shadowed by the loud and obnoxious fine dining restaurant of that area. But based on it's two biggest competitors in terms of real Thai food - Love's Thai and Bangkok Cafe, The Old Siam really needs to grow a pair and jump in the ring. It's a real heavyweight, the food is a million miles away from generic, screams intense Thai flavour and is both very fresh and healthy. Although the other two are great, The Old Siam has something a little extra. Those that have traveled to Thailand might recognise the extra bite that this place can deliver, don't forget to ask for your food 'Thai' hot if you want the real deal. Even seasoned vindaloo munchers should be wary of Thai heat however. The level of service is spot on here and although it isn't the biggest of restaurants, it will do everything it can to make sure your visit is excellent. Portion sizes and prices are very reasonable, there range of dishes isn't huge but it's all about quality here not quantity. Every dish has it's own character, the way this vibrant cuisine should be. It's time to sack off the lazy, feeble and generic eastern Asian restaurants and give somewhere that possesses sensual banter for the eyes, nose and taste buds. 90%

Simply Greek Tavern - My Big Fat Greek Feast

Truly authentic Greek restaurants are extremely elusive in the UK, and that's particularly true of Newcastle. But for some mad reason there are two pretty much adjacent to one another in Newcastle's Bigg market. One of which is about as Greek as it gets, the aptly named Simply Greek Tavern and thankfully it isn't in financial disarray. The staff are attentive and offer a Mediterranean-warm welcome, fitting in their dated but exceptionally Greek blue and white restaurant. If you start knocking back the ouzos you might even end up thinking you are in Greece....which would be hugely disappointing if you were to walk out and you're outside Bambu and a 17 year chav has just been sick on your shoe whilst his girlfriend threatens to fight you. Despite its location the food at Simply Greek is fantastic, the dishes are rich and robust without being overly unhealthy, as Greek food should be. You can expect all the classics such as moussaka, souvlaki and kleftiko as well as fresh hummus by the pint! They even offer a very interesting special Sunday mezze platter for two that definitely sh*ts all over the standard bland Sunday roast. Better still, all of this great food is perlexingly affordable given the quality and quantity of their dishes. Real Greek food and Greek prices, time to smash some plates and get some Greek bait down you. 83%

Café 21 - The Ultimate in Celebratory Cuisine

Surrounding the festive period and New Years the majority of restaurants across the country, both good and hideous will whore themselves out with 'special' seasonal menus. Many involve feeble attempts at festive cuisine with pointless 'quirky twists' and minuscule portions, which only enrages the Fat Spoon. That said, some of the festive menus are outstanding, but there can only be one king of celebration. That is Café 21, which specializes in offering excellent yet fairly priced set menus all year round. And being part of the 21 Hospitality Group you can expect amazing dishes with a great deal of effort behind each one, made with the finest of ingredients and erupting with finesse. Café 21 is only really out shadowed by it's burly bigger brother, The Broad Chare. But when you want fine dining with all that glitz and glam guff, then Cafe 21 has to be your first choice. So break out the champagne and make your choice from the range of contemporary dishes boasting great game, rotund beef dishes and exquisite seafood. The beautiful presentation across all dishes will make your best efforts look like MasterChef gone wrong. High level food should look as good as it taste, as should the serving staff. Thankfully Café 21 doesn't disappoint. There is also a convenient Café 21 installation in Fenwicks, if MacDonald's doesn't cut it as mid-shopping bait. Definitely another big shot...94%

Gourmet Grub - Hangover Heaven

Many of us have been there, some more than others. Many of us are quite possibly there now, or will be soon based on it currently being Christmas party season. Yes, it's the dreaded crippling hangover that makes your brain feel like an old shriveled prune and leaves your stomach in a black-hole-like state. And providing you can face food, there is only one solution that will make it everything OK again and eliminate your feelings of self-loathing and calamity. That is of course a hefty, filthily greasy fry-up. A beautiful mountain of protein, grease and pure magic. And the Gourmet Grub cafe is the place where you can get that fatty fix. You can refill your soul with their signature "Big G" breakfast, which will satisfy even the greediest of animals. Bacon, sausages, toast, eggs, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, black pudding, hash browns and a cup of tea for less than a fiver! Even the stingiest of students cannot reject such an outstanding offer. Not only is Gourmet Grub very inexpensive, but the little Geordie lady that runs the cafe will look after you like you're one of her own. Saint. It isn't just about breakfast here either, they offer some very cost effective lunches in the form of £2.20 meal deals, free cakes on match days and hot daily specials. Brilliance doesn't always have to be extravagant, sometimes its the simplest things that work the best. 76%

Blackfriars - Experience Equals Excellence

Well established but also well secluded from the city's visiting riff-raff, Blackfriars has been serving up great food for countless years...literally. This exquisite Dominican friary, stunning from both the outside and in was established in 1239! The food has always been fairly good over the 6 or so years that the Fat Spoon has been dining here, but over the last couple of years they have compiled a menu full of both rusticity and elegance. If you have ventured to Blackfriars in the past, but haven't recently, then it's strongly implored that you make another visit soon. Particularly over the festive season when their ambience really fits the mood. The wine menu is beyond excellent, as is the level of service. But it's the cuisine that really stands out here. Expect pant-wettingly-good dishes that have been constructed with great local produce from across the region. Sophistication minus all of the ponce. Ideal. Although the set menus are more affordable, it's all about there strong signature dishes, so this isn't the place for scrimpers. If you want to try Blackfriars at its best, then why not tackle it at full force and really push the boat...the whole fleet in fact. And if you're booking for a big group, then you can eat like Henry VIII in the adjacent medieval banquet hall, minus the gut, gout and gonorrhoea of course. 91%

The Fat Hippo - Witness the Fatness

Hippo's are ugly, grotesque and monstrous animals; often vicious and covered in their own faeces. And at first glace, you might think the same of the Fat Hippo in Jesmond. But you will be hideously mistaken. This Fat Hippo is oozing with character, finesse and is a true hidden gem in terms of gourmet brilliance. This restaurant isn't here to offer you fancy contemporary cuisine like that of the Baltic's Six restaurant or Cafe 21. The Fat Hippo is here to provide you with good honest burgers, that are delivered to an outstanding level. And as the name suggests, they aren't at all shy with their portion sizes. It was a tremendously brutal battle, three rounds of gourmet grappling and refined rampancy, but the Fat Spoon came out on top in the end and relished in the delights that the Hippo had to offer. Although the interior of the restaurant looks like a dodgy Spanish canteen, the standard of service is excellent and the food more than makes up for the lack of room. Whether you're a tramp or a king, you must appreciate a good old burger....and that's exactly what the Fat Hippo excels at. Better still, they offer a three course happy hour menu for just £10...a truly remarkable offer. 88%

The LB Restaurant - Drunkards Delight

The one and only curry house that is open well past all of the pubs, and thus it is a common destination for the hungry merry makers. But that doesn't mean it isn't a suitable restaurant for any other time of day. Also known as Latif's or Latif Balti this surprising large but well hidden restaurant offers all of the classic Indian and Pakistani dishes you would expect. The service is always excellent, whether your as sober as a judge or as battered as Irishman on St. Paddy's day. Often Latif himself is on hand to welcome patrons/diners. The pricing of the food is highly acceptable and they aren't overly cheeky with the cost of Cobra's unlike a lot of Indian restaurants. They even offer a Gourmet Society discount, further making it a superior munchies quencher over the likes of the kebab shop or MacDonald's. Don't expect anything overly exotic or contemporary, the format is as straight forward as you need when your intoxicated. Although it is a favourite with post-pub curry hunters, the food as actually quite good. Dishes are cooked with a clear level of experience and taste great, sober or smashed. The warming atmosphere of the restaurant is also great, although care must be taken, getting too relaxed could result in you snoozing in your saag paneer or spilling madras all over your own crotch. Not that the Fat Spoon would ever do anything so undignified. The only down side is (and it is a crucial one) that the next day you will most likely be spending some quality time with your friend John, i.e. your bowels may well be rupturing like Mount Etna. 70%

The Cave - Meat and Vodka All Round

Previously operating as a speciality Polish restaurant under the guise of "Restaurant Krakow" this place now delivers a range of Polish, Russian and German dishes....as well as some random pizzas. That said, the majority of this alternative European cuisine really compliments the furred-lined hardwood Russian-ice-bar style venue. And as the name suggests, it is somewhat like walking into a random cave in the middle of one of Newcastle's busiest restaurant streets. Although the dishes aren't spectacularly extravagant, nor do they boast particularly exotic ingredients...but they are interesting, well cooked and do come in good portions sizes. Expect meat-rich dishes that definitely won't leaving you hunting for a takeaway on the way home. The cheeky Eastern European waitresses also really add to the restaurant's theme. All in all, a cool experience that is well worth a visit, and being another Gourmet Society member makes it a relatively cheap option. Serving the homemade paté with a large shot of vodka is also a stroke of genius that makes the Fat Spoon very happy. 76%

Happiness Inn - The Daredevil's Chinese

Despite this restaurant being situated in a prime location, it often goes unnoticed by pretty much everyone. In all fairness it isn't the most appealing looking restaurant, but overlooking the Happiness Inn would mean missing out on some of the finest Chinese cuisine in the city. After clambering up the derelict stairwell you will be shocked to find a relatively attractive palace-like restaurant with an imperial aura about it. You are immediately greeted by exceptionally joyous staff (so happy that you might question their recreational habits), who will offer you a crucial choice. A choice that will dictate the outcome of your meal for gourmet glory or dining disaster. Opt for the Chinese menu, as the English menu will only disappoint you more than NUFC's recent games. The Chinese menu, however, holds a huge host of excellent and authentic dishes, brimming with flavour, spice and delight. The level of service remains excellent throughout the night as you struggle to decide what you want to eat, as part of the fun of the Chinese menu is deciphering it. Although there are some pictures and short English descriptions of the dishes, they can often be very misleading, or even completely wrong. The food is brilliant, but there are a number of dishes that offer parts of animal that you didn't think were remotely edible. Despite looking like alien genitalia, the frilled kidneys are exceptional, a must try. On the other hand  the Fat Spoon will eat most things, except chicken feet, they're easily the most hideous thing on the planet. The stew style dishes are particularly tasty and great value for menu as they're gigantic. Life is far too short to stick to the boring lemon chicken dishes and bland chow meins. Take a risk and give the wonders of the Happiness Inn a try. 79%

Malmaison - Brasserie Brilliance

The high-brow hotel chain's only site in the North East doesn't cut any corners. Here you'll find the same level of prestige service as would in any other of the 12 Malmaisons across the United Kingdom. This tower of excellence is as beautiful as you would expect on the inside and this theme is carried through into the restaurant. You are likely to feel like an extra in a Bond film as a result of the royal furnishings and superb level of table service. The seductive and dark, but not dingy styling will certainly set the mood. But the Fat Spoon places food above all of these characteristics and thankfully their menu reflects this high calibre style of restaurant. They offer a variety of iconic and decadent dishes from across the continent that are delicious without the need for being pretentious or tiny in portions. They combine exotic components with classic and homely dishes, resulting in excellent food that will leave you feeling very satisfied. The "Mal burger" is a must for burger lovers. And they of course complement this excellent range of dishes with an extravagant cocktail list and superb selection of wines. However, this sovereign menu doesn't come without a seriously hefty price tag...expect to pay through the teeth. A bank loan might even be required, because they really don't mess around. But for a truly special occasion, it's definitely worthwhile. But if you are a Gourmet society card holder then you can save a tidy sum. 92%