Shortly after the arrival of Kaspa's Desserts, what appears to be a rival but otherwise identical ice cream and desserts chain has hit Newcastle's ever swanky Bigg Market, this one is called Creams. And the dessert house clone is very much identical in every way, offering the same range of ice creams, waffles and crepes, in the same vulgar American format, sprinkled with the same essence of tackiness and the same drizzle of over vibrancy. Creams even looks and sounds the same, brandishing the same tasteless black and pink styling as well as the same obscene soundtrack selected to draw in teenage girls and chav families in their masses.
To give credit where credit is due, the desserts and ice creams at Creams are tasty. They do offer a monstrously encompassing range of flavours and styles at vaguely reasonable prices. And if you're looking for a filthy fix of waffles and multi-flavour ice cream then Creams has exactly what you need. Like Kaspa's its best to avoid the whipped cream and whippy ice cream doused sundaes and go straight for the un-adulterated ice creams. - where you can tailor make your own combo from some excellent ice creams, gelatos and sorbets. But all that is hardly a revelation, their entire menu is composed of sugar and fat - only an utter moron could get such a cuisine wrong.
Although some of the staff at Cream's are very friendly and charming, others are clearly menaces to society. On the Fat Spoon's recent visit, one member of staff thought it would be wise to use a red hot sundae glass, straight from the dishwasher, to serve ice cream. It's ice cream you complete imbecile. Even a rabid chimp could probably see the error in this, yet the concept of melting ice cream clearly escaped at least one member of Cream's team. All in all, Cream's is at least honest, it knows exactly what it is and is correctly placed at the corner of the Bigg Market. And being completely indistinguishable from it's carbon copy - Kaspa's, it can only receive an identical meagre rating. 57%
Hippo's are ugly, grotesque and monstrous animals; often vicious and covered in their own faeces. And at first glace, you might think the same of the Fat Hippo in Jesmond. But you will be hideously mistaken. This Fat Hippo is oozing with character, finesse and is a true hidden gem in terms of gourmet brilliance. This restaurant isn't here to offer you fancy contemporary cuisine like that of the Baltic's Six restaurant or Cafe 21. The Fat Hippo is here to provide you with good honest burgers, that are delivered to an outstanding level. And as the name suggests, they aren't at all shy with their portion sizes. It was a tremendously brutal battle, three rounds of gourmet grappling and refined rampancy, but the Fat Spoon came out on top in the end and relished in the delights that the Hippo had to offer. Although the interior of the restaurant looks like a dodgy Spanish canteen, the standard of service is excellent and the food more than makes up for the lack of room. Whether you're a tramp or a king, you must appreciate a good old burger....and that's exactly what the Fat Hippo excels at. Better still, they offer a three course happy hour menu for just £10...a truly remarkable offer. 88%
