Westgate road and the areas of Fenham that it lead up to are an absolute haven for numerous sub-standard 'cafés', 'restaurants' and 'takeaways' of sheer filth. Generic, baseless menu's that poorly represent Persian or Asian cuisine; childishly and arrogantly parading shawarmas, kebabs and mixed grills of questionable meat, married with lacklustre flavours in vulgar venues. Many of which even the drunk-beyond-belief low life of the region would turn their noses up at. But it isn't all doom and grease on Westgate Road, there are handful of hidden gems amongst the rotten eggs and Moulin Rouge is definitely the crown jewel amongst them.
Moulin Rouge is a god send for anyone looking for an affordable but delicious solution to authentic Persian cuisine. Fresh ingredients, a simple open kitchen, daily specials and a very welcoming atmosphere are all features that Moulin Rouge should certainly pride themselves on. Better still, their not afraid of going beyond the standard 'grilled meat with rice on a plate', (although they do that very well too), they also provide a selection of less common traditional dishes....a wet dream for any restaurant punter sick of the sight of generic dishes that riddle dining culture these days.
Although it appears to be a simple café, Moulin Rouge is a whole lot more than that, their more complex specials, cheerful BYOB policy and highly accommodative service means that you can celebrate almost any occasion in this perfectly relaxed rustic venue. And if that wasn't enough, the sheer cost effectiveness and clean-eat nature of their cuisine will have you coming back time and time again. Although if you are wanting your fill of grease, then they've also perfected the art of hangover breakfasts, offering bargainous fry-ups that might literally save your bacon. On top of all that, they even have plenty of choice for those odd vegetarian types! - literally every man, woman and child needs to give Moulin a try. 81%
Mrs Ali's is a long standing firm favourite with students, professionals and families a like, and that's probably down to the consistency and simplicity of their service. All of their dishes come in at a good standard, a fair price and are reasonable in size. There's nothing ground breaking at Mrs Ali's, but that isn't her game plan, she just wants to see everyone fed on some solid Asian cuisine. And at that mission, this place is definitely bang on the money.
All of the typical curries are there - rogan Josh, lamb gosht, tandoori chicken and the likes, as well as some exemplary, freshly baked naans. Unfortunately they also still serve atrocities like Peshwari naans, chicken kormas and other vulgarities of western 'Indian' cuisine. The Fat Spoon does not approve of such smut, there's probably more culture in some Dixy's chicken out of a bin near the Gate. But at least they're keeping everyone happy, and there's much more authentic cuisine on the menu to outweigh the filth. Going for their highly sharable set menu is not only great value for money, but also covers all bases in the curry house experience.
The service at Mrs Ali's is definitely to be commended, because unlike many of the curry houses in the country, the waiting staff aren't moody, illiterate or have some sort of issue with using deodourant. In fact they are particularly welcoming here, with Mrs Ali herself often at the front of house to welcome diners. However, the best feature of Mrs Ali's has to be exceptional value for money, particularly with the 6 course happy night offer, available on Thursdays and Sundays. Enough food to keep anyone happy and covers all of the specials on the menu (prawns have a small supplementary charge) and is accompanied with a glass of wine. This wine may taste like tramp chunder mixed with the sweat of a fat man, but the food itself is a huge bargain alone. 81%
The American grill cuisine trade is absolutely booming in the UK, thanks largely to that (ex-)fat bloke from the eternally brilliant 'Man VS Food' television programme. Slow-cooked meats, hot wings and cheese coated carbs being at the very forefront of that beastly taste invasion from the states. There are some restaurants that put a lot of time into developing their brand and making sure their flavours are spot on. However, there are many pubs and restaurants that make meagre efforts with sodden pulled pork, parched flavourless brisket and feebly spiced "hot" wings; often trying to raise the profile of their flaccid menu with this half-baked attempt at grill house cuisine.
The Hop and Cleaver however, has done absolutely everything right. Perched next to one of the best pubs in town, this well hidden wonder generates an atmosphere of sheer sensual smoky seduction. And it's not all about the meat, having a genuine interest in craft beers means they're another one of those microbrewery type places, their bulging tanks proudly on show within the eatery. And to completely abolish any of their sluggish pseudo-American competition, they have also supported their food with some heavy duty shakes, traditionally outlandish cocktails and of course, plenty of bourbon.
So the drinks are fantastic here, as is the service and the whole feel of the place. But anyone who's anyone (or just greedy) will tell you that's all about the way they do their meat. Coating chunky succulent ribs in a batter made of chicken and frying the lot may sound like utter smut, but it's actually genius. Their beautifully grotesque methods of lifting meat to unholy levels continues with feast sharers...the blue cheese tomahawk steak and beer can chicken. Their crates of 14 hour brisket, luscious pulled pork and super sticky hot wings will have you fellating your own fingers when you're done. And all of which can be coupled with some properly filthy sides. This is American food, done exactly as the fatties intended. Awesome. 89%
Many of us have been there, some more than others. Many of us are quite possibly there now, or will be soon based on it currently being Christmas party season. Yes, it's the dreaded crippling hangover that makes your brain feel like an old shriveled prune and leaves your stomach in a black-hole-like state. And providing you can face food, there is only one solution that will make it everything OK again and eliminate your feelings of self-loathing and calamity. That is of course a hefty, filthily greasy fry-up. A beautiful mountain of protein, grease and pure magic. And the Gourmet Grub cafe is the place where you can get that fatty fix. You can refill your soul with their signature "Big G" breakfast, which will satisfy even the greediest of animals. Bacon, sausages, toast, eggs, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, black pudding, hash browns and a cup of tea for less than a fiver! Even the stingiest of students cannot reject such an outstanding offer. Not only is Gourmet Grub very inexpensive, but the little Geordie lady that runs the cafe will look after you like you're one of her own. Saint. It isn't just about breakfast here either, they offer some very cost effective lunches in the form of £2.20 meal deals, free cakes on match days and hot daily specials. Brilliance doesn't always have to be extravagant, sometimes its the simplest things that work the best. 76%
Hippo's are ugly, grotesque and monstrous animals; often vicious and covered in their own faeces. And at first glace, you might think the same of the Fat Hippo in Jesmond. But you will be hideously mistaken. This Fat Hippo is oozing with character, finesse and is a true hidden gem in terms of gourmet brilliance. This restaurant isn't here to offer you fancy contemporary cuisine like that of the Baltic's Six restaurant or Cafe 21. The Fat Hippo is here to provide you with good honest burgers, that are delivered to an outstanding level. And as the name suggests, they aren't at all shy with their portion sizes. It was a tremendously brutal battle, three rounds of gourmet grappling and refined rampancy, but the Fat Spoon came out on top in the end and relished in the delights that the Hippo had to offer. Although the interior of the restaurant looks like a dodgy Spanish canteen, the standard of service is excellent and the food more than makes up for the lack of room. Whether you're a tramp or a king, you must appreciate a good old burger....and that's exactly what the Fat Hippo excels at. Better still, they offer a three course happy hour menu for just £10...a truly remarkable offer. 88%
