Lane7 - Bowling, Beers and Brilliant Bait

Bowling alleys have long followed a tradition of being cheap, shabby and uninspiring. Thankfully Lane7 is a major outlier in this terrible trend. You will be blown away by the retro yet very clean cut styling throughout the venue. First things first, you are met with a small but stunning bar, that leads on to an open restaurant and a modest but very funky four lanes. Not to worry though, there are another 4 lanes upstairs as well as a decent pool hall and a few ping pong tables. Although small, the range of drinks they offer is excellent and covers all bases; including commercial lines, some local real ales & stouts, a great wine collection and some wondrous "hard shakes". The draught options are available by the half, pint and by the "Growler" - again another very cool feature. But onto the important stuff.....the food. Although relatively simple, the American diner menu offers all of the classics, topped off with a shed load of sheer sexiness. They have blown the few competitors that they have completely out of the water. Highlights include the smoked pork ribs, barbecued lamb belly and smoked chicken liver pate....and they're only the starters! Expect expertly balanced dishes that offer a real taste of American cuisine, fair finer than what you would usually come across. The pricing is fair given the calibre of the venue. A few teething problems exist within the serving and kitchen staff, but that's inevitable when you're brand new. What Lane7 can't be denied of, is their outstanding concept...a true stroke of genius. For now they're getting a solid. 85%

The Fat Hippo - Witness the Fatness

Hippo's are ugly, grotesque and monstrous animals; often vicious and covered in their own faeces. And at first glace, you might think the same of the Fat Hippo in Jesmond. But you will be hideously mistaken. This Fat Hippo is oozing with character, finesse and is a true hidden gem in terms of gourmet brilliance. This restaurant isn't here to offer you fancy contemporary cuisine like that of the Baltic's Six restaurant or Cafe 21. The Fat Hippo is here to provide you with good honest burgers, that are delivered to an outstanding level. And as the name suggests, they aren't at all shy with their portion sizes. It was a tremendously brutal battle, three rounds of gourmet grappling and refined rampancy, but the Fat Spoon came out on top in the end and relished in the delights that the Hippo had to offer. Although the interior of the restaurant looks like a dodgy Spanish canteen, the standard of service is excellent and the food more than makes up for the lack of room. Whether you're a tramp or a king, you must appreciate a good old burger....and that's exactly what the Fat Hippo excels at. Better still, they offer a three course happy hour menu for just £10...a truly remarkable offer. 88%

Flavours - An Utter Abomination

Now the Fat Spoon has eaten at a gargantuan number of restaurants in Newcastle, across the country and even the world to some extent, without ever experiencing a good Indian buffet restaurant. Flavours is no exception to this. If uninspiring and greasy curries, with meat that's probably barely safe for animal consumption in an faceless venue is what you're after, then Flavours is spot on. Indian cuisine is all about intense variety in colour, flavour and texture; so you would expect curry to lend itself to the buffet format. But it tends to be the more dishevelled and sloppy restaurants that take on the challenge and of course they inevitably fail. The food at Flavours is beyond generic and generally a travesty. Even drunk tramps might question dining there. What dubious meat you may come across in the curries are likely to be drowning in an ocean of oil and seriously lacking in integrity. Buffet restaurants are never going to be renowned for their high level of table service and again Flavours follows the trend. Flaccid in character and quite lazy. Even if you want a cheap and dirty fill, a donner kebab from Munchies has more gourmet class. The take home message.....avoid Flavours. 19%

@ Bangkok Café - Taste True Thailand

There are a handful of restaurants in the city that claim to be authentic Thai restaurants, but @ Bangkok Café renders them all as obsolete. The restaurant doesn't look particularly exciting, but that isn't important, it's all about the food here. As you walk through the door you'll get Thai kicked to the face with an infusion of outstanding aromas. The menu is well priced and offers a good variety of traditional Thai dishes. All of which are well cooked and hugely flavoursome. If you're looking for a Thai level of hotness however, you'll have to ask for it as their dishes are aimed at western clientèle. If you do ask for more chillies expect to have your tongue completely brutalised. But that's what Thai food should depict, strong and intense flavours that certainly aren't for those with a feeble palate. Your grandma probably wouldn't approve....but the Fat Spoon thinks the food is great. Portion sizes are perfect, and they do offer some more generic set menus and lunchtime deals if you're a watching your expenditure. And if you watching your waist, Thai food is inherently healthy, give it a try. 84%

Fitzgeralds Newcastle - Posh Pub with a Knockout Menu

Having gone unnoticed, for apparently years, this cheeky little gastro pub has had a recent refurbishment...bringing it straight into the Fat Spoon's eye. Now sporting a classy finish and plenty of British culture, its well worth a try. This is another of Newcastle's many pub/restaurant that offers a fantastic selection of real ales, continental beers and decent array of wines. However, it has something a lot of the others don't. A well conjured contemporary British menu that delivers a variety of warming dishes that are somehow both very robust and elegant at the same time. The menu seems to be augmented fairly often, which isn't necessarily a negative... experimentation should always be commended. They do all the pub classics in a way that makes them look, smell and taste like something innovative and new, brilliant. The pub platter to share is an absolutely crucial starter, featuring a beef and red wine pie, an angelic sausage butty, an outstanding hamhock terrine and a brilliant duck croquette. The Fat Spoon almost lost it completely with this amazing dish. The level of service is very good and the prices aren't at all offending, stop wasting your time with amateur bland and feeble pub dinners and make a visit to Fitzgeralds soon. 82%

El Torero - Tapas Without the Nonsense

Unfortunately tapas - the Spanish concept of smaller plates to be served as light snacks or combined with other dishes to make a varied meal, was murdered by a confusingly popular restaurant franchise that shall be left unnamed. Thankfully, however, there are still a handful of restaurants in Newcastle that will deliver flavoursome Spanish cuisine without molesting the authenticity or by overpricing their worth. A strong example of such a restaurant is El Torero, which is quite well hidden, but well worth the find. El Torero trumps all of those generic second-rate Spanish restaurants by offering a large range of wholesome but interesting dishes. The classics are all there, but are elevated with a sound selection of paellas, pork with blue cheese, braised lamb and spicy black sausage dishes. Life is too short to spend your time in lazy restaurants that aren't daring enough to offer you more exotic and intriguing food. El torero doesn't disappoint in this avenue. The interior is dated but pleasant and the service is friendly and very Spanish. Spanish to the point where sign language and drawings might be more useful than verbal communication. But it is good service nonetheless. 77%

Santana's Jesmond - An Italian with Budget Brilliance!

Looking for authentic Italian food that doesn't cost the world? Then you needn't look elsewhere. Santana's is a proper Italian restaurant that delivers expertly cooked and substantial cuisine, but unlike most good Italian restaurants, they don't charge obscene prices. Although the menu isn't at all outlandish, there are a few interesting quirks as well as classics that are all worth sampling. If you are looking to splash the cash, they have a great selection of wines and some brilliant fillet steak, Sea-bass and king prawn dishes. The deep fried brie is a crucial starter to opt for. The level of service is good, although some of the younger waiting staff are a little untrained, they do offer friendly and welcoming service across the board. But where Santana's really hits its stride is the sheer mind-boggling value for money of their set menus. Even the stingiest of students can't complain at 3 course lunch for less than £4! A strongly recommended restaurant for anyone, regardless of their budget. 84%